The Pity Party

This is a public service message. What you are about to read are the ramblings of one person; a person who has obviously been enjoying a pity party and is now working her way out of it. What you read here may not necessarily make sense to anyone other than the writer, and therefore should not be used against her in any way, including but not limited to a court of law. The following are her words, such as they are…with only the names changed to protect the innocent.

This morning I decided, enough is enough! It hit me yesterday actually, that I've been wallowing in my own self-made pity party for the past few days. I'm not sure when it started or what even caused it to start, but I've had enough of it. Well I really do know when it started; Thursday afternoon, and I know why (I think); this was not supposed to be my free weekend at home. This was supposed to be my weekend to kill myself walking 60 miles. But I had to pull out of the Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk due to a sprained ankle. However, when I had to pull out of the walk, I continued to raise money for the cause, thus I still felt like part of the team. Then Thursday afternoon, I get an email sent to my company's walking team about picking up our shirts. I replied back and mentioned that I would miss walking with them this weekend but would stop by next week to pick up my shirt. Their reply back to me stated they could only give shirts to the walkers. Bam, slap, kick, you're outta here! I know it's only a stupid shirt and I know the reason for doing this is to end Breast Cancer forever, and I told myself "whatever; screw 'em!" But obviously my subconscious mind did not listen of any of that. So I've spent the last two days sulking and just staying to myself.

But like I said earlier, enough is enough. The stupid shirts were ugly anyway; they are a pukey pink color and I have plenty of other shirts like the green one I just got at the KP 5K. I spent all day Friday doing nothing (well paying bills) and yesterday doing nothing (well paying two more bills that came in the mail) until our expected company finally arrived. After that I did a little but since our company was pretty self sufficient, I didn't have to do much. But having them here was a good excuse to blow off cycle class, and exercising, walking the neighborhood with my neighbor and really any kind of communication with the real world. In other words, it was a good excuse to withdraw from the world, all over a stupid shirt. Let me say here that it's not really the shirt but more what the shirt represented. I was a part of a team. I worked hard to raise funds to meet my goal yes, but every $ raised also helped the team to reach their goal. What that email told me was that I was no longer part of the team. Not even a "Thanks for all your hard work, and by the way, thanks for helping us meet our team goal, but see ya!" It was just "see ya!"

Well, no more wallowing! Today is the first day of the week, and day 15 for me on the South Beach Diet. I lost 2.4 lbs during the first two weeks which I was kind of bummed about until my very smart trainer set me straight on a few things. Like the fact that 2.4 lbs is a lot for someone who only has 10 lbs to lose. That's 24% of my goal! Not too shabby for two weeks worth of work. And I also lost over an inch off my waist in those two weeks. That's something to celebrate, not hide! So I did celebrate, last night, with a very healthy chocolate cake I made with whole wheat flour, splenda and nf milk. And did I mention that last week I was out of town at a business conference where they served all kinds of sinful stuff to eat? A place where sometimes I had to get inventive to even have something to eat? Like, eating the turkey slices off a sandwich and having the lettuce and tomato as my veggies. Like turning down dessert and having a cup of decaf coffee instead. It was hard but by golly I did it, and I am proud of myself!

So today I'm back to making goals and exercising. I have my week planned out which consist of three cardio exercises and three weight training exercises. I will eat clean, and in accordance with Phase 2 of the South Beach Diet. I can do this and I will! I will be at my goal weight by December 31 which means I must be good through the holidays. It will be hard but I will do it. And if there are bumps along the way, I will handle them and I'll do my best to not repeat the pity party. But if I do indulge in another one, I'll figure it out and move on. That's what's so good about all this. Life isn't perfect. Sometimes it's roses and sometimes its thorns. You just have to carefully pick through the thorns until you find the rose again!

Here's to everyone finding their roses quickly, with minimal damage while picking through the thorns.

Here one second, gone the next…

I was walking through the house, minding my own business really, with my mind on work since I am working from home today. I needed to go (if you know what I mean) so I set my laptop down and headed to the master bedroom. I should have noticed something was wrong; I mean the house was slightly tilting to one side. I should have noticed the silence; the kind of silence you hear when something BIG is about to happen. I should have noticed these things but as I stated, my mind was on other things.

I was about to walk through the bedroom door when I saw him. He was big, brown and ugly and he was staring right at me. And by big, I mean he was HUGE folks, which explains the house tilt I mentioned above. Everything started happening in slow motion at that point. The leg that was raised in the air to make the next step immediately changed directions forcing my hip and back into positions I didn't know it could achieve. The body started heading in the opposite direction, not necessarily with all body parts changing direction at the same time or changing to the same direction! The scream that started from somewhere or someone because it doesn't sound like anything that would come out of me, got louder and louder giving my lungs a good workout on how long they can go on without a fresh breath of air. Luckily other bodily functions stayed where they were but I can tell you, it was touchy there for a minute.

While all this is going on, the big, brown, ugly, staring right at me creature was coming for me. As fast as he could go he was heading straight for my one foot that was still planted firmly on the floor. Did I mention that I was barefoot? Bad move on my part, wearing no shoes. I will definitely have to do better on that one. But I digress. Just as he was getting to my foot, I found I had learned how to fly since both feet were in the air and somehow I was levitated about six inches off the floor. Uh-oh. The levitation part was the very short period of time when something (or someone) has gone up as far as it can go and is now starting to descend downward, back to its original starting point. Uh-oh again.

This creature was obviously also a quick learner because much to my horror, he had learned how to fly as well. Instead of running across my foot after I landed right in front of him, (shudder), he flew higher and flew smack dab into my leg. At this point, let me give thanks for the fact that I had on jeans. If I had changed into shorts and went to the gym this morning, things would have turned out differently. So let me get in one huge point for NOT going to the gym this morning. However, I digress again.

The force of him hitting my leg did absolutely nothing to him but it did help me learn to fly even higher, scream even louder and my heart to reach a rate that before now has been totally unknown to man. As he bounced off my leg, he immediately flew/ran/crawled/whatever, under the dresser. I immediately went to the other side of the house and stayed there until my heart rate had slowed enough for me to think coherently. When I ventured back toward the bedroom door, he was nowhere to be found. I can't say I've looked for him very thoroughly. I mean how thorough can you be from the other side of the house? My main clue that he is now gone is that the house is no longer tilting.

But he'll be back, which is my main reason for this post. I need some help/advise/a good swift kick in the pants/or better yet, an exterminator! Oh wait, I have one of those. These creatures that I call (well I can't say here or I'll be censored), some call cockroaches or water bugs, have been showing up in my house lately; mocking me because they can sense my fear like a horse can sense the fear of its rider. The before mentioned exterminator says it's the weather causing them to come in, or maybe the dryness, or the rain. What rain? Which one is it and whichever one it is, do something about it!

Regardless of what it is, I cannot live with these things! I am a reasonably strong woman; I can take care of myself in most situations or in all situations if I really had to. I can go toe-to-toe with the best of them on whatever subject you want to bring up, but these roaches have got my number. It started when I was a little girl…well, I won't bore you with the details. I'll just say it involved playing dress up, mama's high heels, small foot squished into the toe of the high heel along with a visitor who was making his home in the shoe until I put my foot in there. He wasn't happy with me either so he put up quite a fuss. 50+ years later, they're still putting up a fuss. They know. They know that I'm that little girl who caused one of their own to come to an untimely end to its life. They know and they've told the umpteen million others in their species. They have a plan to torment me slowly until I… Well, I don't know until I what but I do know that history tells me they'll be here long after I'm gone, so I have to learn to live with them. Not sure how that's going to happen, but I'll take it one day at a time, one incident at a time, one flying lesson at a time.

Oh, and let me point out for those of you reading this who also keep a count of my weekly cardio workouts, this counts as one!

I did it! Well, almost….

If you've read any of my previous postings, you know that I took a cycle class on July 4. It was not the easiest thing I have ever done but I survived it. Today is September 13 and I took another one. July 4 to September 13….hmmm….that's over two months! How many cycle classes have there been in those two months? How many missed opportunities to get on a first name basis with Mr. Cardio? I could give you all the reasons I haven't attended one since July 4; things like business travel, personal vacation, visiting family, running errands, sleeping late, valuing my life. Yea, I could give you all those reasons and some of them are valid but really, I had to psych myself up to go back. It did take a while.

Regardless of the reasons for missing the last two months, I was there today. I had a better attitude about the whole thing since I'd been there before. I knew that I almost died last time but I have worked on my cardiovascular health since then, so my plan today was to ace this class. I was going to do everything she instructed us to do. Yep, today I was going to kick butt!

We started the class on time with Ms. Janet bouncing up on her bike after doing a zillion pushups as part of her morning exercise routine. I know also that she ran over 5 miles this week and her legs were killing her, but I didn't see any of that this morning. What I did hear was her lamenting that she had gained some weight this week and she planned to get a good start on getting rid of it right here in this class. Oh crap. This is not going to be fun. I mean, jeez, I didn't gain the weight – she did. Why should I have to…? Whatever, by this time she is turning up the resistance in our "warm-up" routine again.

I know that I did much better in this class because we were several minutes into the class before I started looking for the clock. Clock? What clock? There is no clock on the wall! Where is it? I can't let go of these handlebars to check my watch because I'll fall right off in a heap on the floor so I casually started checking all the walls to see which one they hid the clock on. After checking them all including the one behind me (which was a feat in itself when you're pedaling a zillion miles an hour on an exercise bike) and still there was no clock. Hmm…seeing as I know Ms. Janet read my previous blog, I wonder if this clock moving thing was planned. Whatever! I finally got a peek at my watch and saw we were 35 minutes into the class. Yahoo! I can do this! Who cares what time it is? Well evidently Ms. Janet does because that wall clock is laying on the floor right beside her! The nerve!

Back to the class though; I was doing ok. I was doing what she said. I stood up when she said, sat down when she said, did sprints when she said, turned up the resistance when she said. Which reminds me – how much is enough? She says "turn it up some. Turn it up where you can feel it." Ok, I can do that. "Now turn it up some more." Hmmm, I know how much you turn it is different for each person so for me, does that mean turn it multiple times, or only one turn, or a half turn or a quarter turn or an eighth turn or just simply touch the dial? I can answer that for you. It means you turn it more in the start of the class than you do 35 minutes into the class!

This is about the time of the class I started to struggle. All the standing and hill climbing and sprints had my right knee talking to me not to mention my breakfast threatening me again. I hated to do it but I sat down early on one of the marathon "aerodynamic" thingies she kept putting us through. Darn! I really hated to do that. But the knee kept saying "Nope, I've had enough" and flaking out on me. Janet did give me some pointers on that after class. Something about not having the resistance turned up enough. Hmm…I guess my "turn it up some" wasn't enough after all.

I had another major problem this morning as well. Have you ridden a bike much? I think the bike seat was invented by someone with a very sick sense of humor. I had borrowed a gel seat but after about 5 minutes you can't really tell that thing is on there. Ouch! I kept adjusting but after a while, there wasn't a spot to move to that wasn't screaming at me. During one part, she had us alternate sitting up straight (ouch) and leaning forward (double ouch). I'm doing all this to keep my rear end from being huge but at this point I'm thinking more padding back there would help!

She's asking us if we're having fun now. Some people in the class are yelling "Woohoo" and "Yes" and just yelling for the fun of it. Some people in the class are just moaning. Some are begging and some are very quiet. I was one of the quiet ones. I mean, it's taking all the strength I have to stay on this bike. Who the heck has enough energy to start yelling and carrying on? I mean come on! However the ones yelling do seem to be enjoying themselves.

After one very intensive part, she asks us if we got that sick feeling. Oh yea! Me too she says. Huh? I thought being this close to puking in an exercise class was only experienced by newbies like me. Evidently it's a good thing to make someone (almost) lose their breakfast in these classes. I am exaggerating of course but I did learn that you can push yourself to that point and it not be a bad thing. Hmm…I'll have to think on that one.

By this time we are telling her she's lost that weight she gained but she's not convinced. We're heading into the final few minutes of the class. I see that most people are still keeping up, some are moderating her instructions some (that was me) and some have stopped altogether. I did finish the class and I was not dead afterwards. My legs were wobbly and have since started talking to me every time I move but I made it. I learned some things in class today: (1) more resistance helps support your body when standing and pedaling thus taking some of the work off your legs (and my right knee) so next time I will "turn it up some more" for sure! (2) One of the ladies in the class says yelling gives her extra energy. It releases endorphins or something like that. Ok, I will try that too. (3) I learned that I can really do this. I can take this cycle class and not die. I gave myself a "D" for at least completing the July 4 class. Today I get a C or a B+ at best. But that's a lot of improvement! And there was over two months between them. Imagine what I can do if I go on a regular basis!

Janet is teaching again next Saturday. Do I dare? Heck yea, why not? I want an A in cycle class!

Lead by Example

In earlier blog postings I’ve mentioned the fact that I have a reputation. At work, with my family, with my friends - I have a reputation. It is however a reputation that I am very proud of. It is a reputation of healthy eating. I am working hard to change it though. I want it to be a reputation of clean eating. That's even better.

Of course, a certain level of responsibility comes with that reputation. That is the responsibility to help others achieve a healthier lifestyle without being too pushy. If I’m asked questions, I’ll answer them but I rarely just offer up comments on what someone is doing or eating. The most frequent question I get though comes when I’m eating out with a group. Someone just about always asks me what is the right thing to order but then someone also makes fun of the way I order. I posted earlier that I am known as the one who orders special so some take bets on how many things I’ll change from the normal menu order. To each his own. I’m glad I can provide them some entertainment.

I’ve wondered at times if any of this sinks in with these people. I figured it doesn’t since they ask over and over what they should order. Now let me also point out that asking what they should order and actually ordering it instead of the chicken fingers and fries is two different things. However, this week I had an occasion to realize that some really are asking because they want to know; because they want to make healthier decisions about what they eat. Let me tell you what happened.

Those of you who know me know that I just returned from a great vacation. This is the one vacation I take every year where I leave all my work here. I forget it all, relax and have fun.

The only problem with this is that it takes a few days to remember everything after I return. I can look back through my emails, my previous meeting notes, even get an update from a coworker; it still takes a while. Even ordering a meal from an often frequented restaurant takes a minute. You know how it is. You order “the usual.” And “the usual” can differ from restaurant to restaurant.

This happened to me this week. It was day 3 of work since returning from vacation. A coworker and I were at a restaurant we frequent at least once a month, often times more. We’re there so much that the waitress walked up, stated that she knew we didn’t need menus, and proceeded to take our order. Of course being a Southern gentlemen, he waited to let me order first. I had no clue. I could not remember a thing except that they had these gosh awful, wonderfully tasting chili dogs called Godzilla Dogs. These things are so big you have to eat them with a fork.

No, I did not order that. I asked him to order first and said I’d wait to see what he ordered and maybe make it a double. Keep in mind that we had had no conversations previously about what to order. He very quickly ordered a Peppercorn Chicken burger (grilled chicken patty) on a wheat bun, no mayo, meat & lf cheese only, with a side of black beans, no rice. Oh, and unsweet tea. I could have hugged his neck. He did listen! I made it a double and had a very enjoyable lunch.

Lead by Example - Talk the Talk - Walk the Walk. People do notice. It does the heart good, in more ways than one.

I need to get out more...

I've already mentioned my age in my profile so let's just say I grew up in a time and a situation where money did not flow abundantly. There were six of us and I was next to the youngest. Whatever money there was, it was well spent by the time it got to me. I don't say that as a complaint or a whine, simply a fact.

But I digress. During this time of growing up, neither my parents nor I paid a lot of attention to my dental hygiene. This was partly due to financial reasons but also maybe our environment. There were no regular twice a year dental visits for cleanings and most problems could be fixed with a quick tooth pulling. Now we were not total slobs, we brushed our teeth for sure but that was it. I don't think dental floss was ever heard of back then and brushing when you got up in the morning was as much for not killing anyone with your breath as it was to promote good dental health. Add to this the fact that I, like most kids, was deathly afraid of the dentist so I never asked to go. A tooth had to be really hurting for me to even tell my parents about it.

But I digress again. By the time I was a young adult, I'd had my fair share of tooth pulling and very little tooth filling. As I stated above, it was quicker and cheaper to just pull it especially since by the time you got to the dentist, the cavity resembled the Grand Canyon. And no, root canals were not being done back then either. At least not that I knew of.

At this point, just assume that I will continue to digress. So where am I going with this? I'm going to the dental appointment I had this morning. Over my adult years, I've sporadically maintained my dental health which has resulted in sporadic problems. More than once in my past I've taken care of everything that needed taken care of just to lapse into an "if I ignore it, it will go away" syndrome again. I would say I still don't like going to the dentist but I know this certain Dental Hygienist who is a little touchy on that subject. And to be honest, it's not really true, not anymore anyway. And yes, my appointment this morning was with the Dental Hygienist, not the Dentist. And I like my Dental Hygienist, and my Dentist, so there!

But back to my appointment. Over the past few months, I have taken care of everything in my mouth except one root canal that I am putting off until my insurance money picks up again. Those things are not cheap! At least I thought I had it all taken care of until I saw the "other" dentist this morning who found two more "potential" problems. Jeez! Now I have another appointment for two fillings. I'm forgetting the word potential here. I think they were just trying to spare my feelings today.

Again though, back to my overall dental condition. My teeth are all filled and polished to a squeaky clean. I have some problems with periodontal disease that we are working on, hopefully avoiding a trip to the Periodontist but the jury is still out on that one. My Dental Hygienist was going over how to care for my teeth this morning. Yes I know, I'm old enough to know but obviously I'm not doing something right so I asked! The flossing part is where I'm falling down on the job. I floss but not in the right way it seems. She broke out these little gizmo's I can carry with me and use when I'm not at home with my trusty toothbrush and dental floss.

When we were discussing my main problem area, I explained that was the area where food accumulated when I ate. You can't always stop your business lunch to run and brush your teeth you know! She showed me some things I can use called "In Betweens." The minute she brought those puppies out, I exclaimed, "I have some of those at home but didn't know what they were or how to use them." Yes, I really said that. Now, thinking back on that comment, I realize I must have never really thought about what they were used for because if I had, the name "In Between" and the fact that it is made by a major dental product provider would have tipped me off on what it is used for. But my Dental Hygienist hid her amusement very well and patiently showed me how to use it and told me when I should use it. She even gave me some samples and told me what store she buys them in. Yea, she's a keeper.

So what's the moral of this story? For me, I'll go through all my "sample" dental supplies I have stashed in the bathroom and actually use some of them before I go back and make another silly comment. If I do have questions, I'll send them to my favorite Dental Hygienist in Sunny California so I'll be really smart before I go back for my next appointment.

And for the record, I am not afraid to go to the Dentist Office anymore, not for any reason!

Ignorance is bliss.... Or is it?

You could say that life was easier when I didn't care about what I put into my mouth, or if I sat on the couch all night watching tv, or … well, when I was fat!

Cooking was easier – I just ordered take out or even better, delivery! Of course that meant Chinese or Pizza or Pizza or Chinese or…

Grocery shopping was easier – I just threw things in the buggy. I didn’t read labels or check fat content or sugar content or calculate points or …

Clothes shopping was easier – I just tried on one size and when it didn’t fit, I got the next bigger size. They all cost the same so no worries there.

Eating out was easier – I just ordered what sounded good, no special ordering, no regard to what was in it really as long as it wasn’t beef liver or something gross like that!

Visiting family was easer – they just cooked like they normally do and I ate it. No pre-planning or bringing along protein bars or something else “clean” for me to eat.

So if all these things were easier back then, what is so hard about what I’m doing now?

Well it does take more time to read all those food labels but I’ve gotten so used to eating healthy foods that eating junk food upsets my stomach. Yea, it may not be pretty, but it is what it is. If I eat something with a lot of sugar in it, I’m out like a light. If I eat something with a lot of fat in it, my stomach feels like I drank a bottle of castor oil. Well maybe not quite that bad, but its close. So due to health issues when I eat bad stuff, I guess the way I used to eat is now more trouble than what I do today.

I’ve also ventured into Betty Crocker land a few times and cooked something using fresh ingredients – herbs and all! Some may laugh at that but remember, I was the Take Out / Eat Out Queen. I knew how to cook, I just chose not to. The fact that I now am contemplating planting an herb garden really has me scared. My family may get used to this “home cooking” stuff and well, Betty Crocker I ain’t, nor do I want to be. Not yet anyway.

Buying clothes is much more fun when I know ahead of time what size I’ll need and every once in a while, I have to get a different size, a smaller one!

Ordering in restaurants has become my thing. At work, I’m known as the one who has to order special, and who am I to disappoint my fans?

My family knows I eat clean now so they actually think about that when they cook. But I do carry things with me just in case and my family is ok with that.

I have to admit that keeping all this together has not been easy. I’ve worked and I’ve worked and I’ve worked on it. It was so hard to remember what was good to eat and what wasn’t. What was considered clean and what wasn’t. My trainer has helped me by reviewing my food journals each week and giving me credit where credit is due and busting my bubble where it was needed. I can’t say that was always fun but I’ve learned a lot! Now most weeks there is very little I mess up on that I don’t already realize it. What is really great is that my new food regimen has become my norm. I don’t even consider eating something I shouldn’t during the week because I know that the only time I can go there is for my cheat meal. Plus, who would blow a full-fledged cheat meal on a whim anyway? Not me! Not anymore anyway!

…Admit it, “No cheat meal for you!”

I baked a cake Tuesday night. It was chocolate with chocolate icing. It also had cream cheese icing on the decorations. I’m sure it tasted very good but I didn’t eat any of it. It just didn’t interest me. No, I’m not strange, weird or even stupid. I’m just not that into cakes.

We ate out for dinner tonight. Of course we went to our favorite Mexican restaurant. They serve warm tortilla chips there, and margaritas! I was tempted but I had neither. I didn’t have a problem resisting the margarita but the chips were calling my name. However I was strong and nary a chip passed these lips.

When I baked a cake on Tuesday night, I also put together a small one for my DBF here at home. He doesn’t need it and he knows that. But he was feeling a little left out since I never bake anymore and here I was baking a cake for work. So, he had his own little chocolate cake with cream cheese icing decorated in an abstract kind of way with the remaining leftover chocolate icing.

Last night, I didn’t even notice it. Tonight, I ate it. Not only did I eat that cake, I ate caramel ice cream along with it. Not only did I eat that ice cream, I ate the caramel sauce I poured all over it. Yes, it was good but why oh why did I do that? I have no reason whatsoever for my lapse in clean eating sanity. I just did.

So it is with heavy heart (and a much heavier rear end since that’s where every ounce of that ice cream went) that I acknowledge the fact I have no cheat meal coming this Saturday. I am not happy about this but it is what it is. I did it and I will pay the penance.

I also want to note that since I have broken the clean eating rules for this week, that does not give me carte blanch to eat with abandon the rest of the week. No way. Clean eating must prevail the rest of the week and on into next week. I have to prevail over the temptations of the sinful calorie laden food less the scale will prevail over me. It’s already messing with my head this week but it is only a number. I know that and I will treat it as such.

So onward and downward. No more cake, no more ice cream and no cheat meal on Saturday. It is what it is.

...Discuss Determination and Inspiration

I took a fitness assessment today. Its part of a multi-company fitness and health challenge that runs from August to November of this year. The fitness assessment didn’t turn out exactly like I thought it would. Whatever!

I’m a team captain for a Heart Association Heart Walk Team. My company is one of the Corporate Sponsors and there are lots of teams participating. This is a fund raiser for the American Heart Association. There are lots of people in my department so I thought I’d have people waiting in line to join our team. So far, I have 3, with the promise of a couple more. Whatever!

I’m walking in the Breast Cancer Three Day Walk in October and trying to raise $2100 in the process. That’s a tall order but I’m determined to make it. I’m trying to get others to join me in that walk but so far no takers. Whatever!

Whatever, whatever, whatever! Just what is that all about? Am I frustrated? It’s easy to get frustrated when things don’t go exactly as you’d like them to. That normally turns into excuses to NOT do what you know you need to do. That normally gets you a sedentary lifestyle and a seat on the couch. That normally gets you a trip to the doctor and lots of prescriptions to treat unhealthy conditions like high cholesterol. But wait! I’ve been there, done that, and I will not be going back! So no, I am not frustrated.

I am determined! I am determined to change the things I don’t like about that fitness assessment. I am determined to walk every step in that Heart Walk and every mile of the 60 miles in the Breast Cancer walk. I will increase my cardio exercise to improve my cardiovascular health. They tell me that will knock 5 years off my age. My trainer is working cardio into our weekly workout session now in addition to free weights so believe me, I won’t forget about it. When I’m working out and normally whining a little about whatever it is I’m doing, I always remind myself that I am determined to improve my health and my body overall. I’m there doing those squats or lunges because I choose to be, not because anyone is making me. I choose to be there, and I will continue to choose to be there, because I am determined.

I am also inspired by other people and their determination. That’s one reason I’m walking in the Breast Cancer 3-Day walk this year. I’ve heard that it is so emotional and uplifting…I can’t wait to experience that. My trainer inspires me as do my group of Weight Watcher friends. And hopefully I can inspire others at the same time. I know I inspire (or nag) some of my coworkers to eat a healthier diet and to get in consistent exercise. And I’ve recently been told that my blog here has helped to inspire others. That’s cool! I’ll keep posting about my experiences to inspire myself for sure, but inspiring others at the same time, well that’s a double reward.

Now, let me go crank up that treadmill….

Discuss Ordinary vs Extra-Ordinary!

I took a cycle class today. Big deal, right? Yes, this is a big deal. You see, cardio and I are not exactly on a first name basis, and the names I do use for cardio, well I can't use them here. Regardless, I took a cycle class today.

So why was I in this hour of punishment? Janet. She taught the class and she's also my Personal Trainer. She can be very persuasive. I told her on Monday as we were working out that I had the day off on July 4. I had no plans other than sleeping late, watching movies, maybe a few errands but nothing big. It is a holiday after all! "Well you can come to my cycle class that morning then!" She has that look - the look that says "you know you should do this and you have no excuse really" so....I took a cycle class today.

I showed up on time, early actually. I was psyching myself up for this. "I can do this! How hard can it be? It won't kill me. It's only an hour!" Everyone there seemed so happy to be there, and they had all been there before. That was encouraging, so I hung around until 8:30 to take a cycle class today.

Janet comes bouncing in all full of energy and jumps on that bike. Warm up time she says. Warm up! That's an easy part; I can do that! So I start pedaling. "Turn up the resistance" she says. Huh? I thought this was warm up! "Turn it up some more!" What the...? I dutifully follow along until I am definitely warmed up and wondering what I have gotten myself into. I look at the clock and its 8:38 or something close to that. It's going to be a long hour in this cycle class I'm taking today.

After 35 looks at the clock and another 5 minutes, my heart rate monitor is screaming at me telling me I am doing cardio. No duh! After 55 more looks at the clock and another 5 mins, my legs are saying "WTF are you doing?" Janet is still up there encouraging everyone on and talking about how much fun this is. It's a good thing she wasn't looking directly at me when she made that statement! The look I was giving her....but it wasn't a long look because my eyes kept going back to that broken clock. It had to be broken because I’d already spent two hours in this cycle class I was taking today.

After the numbers started fading out on the clock from all the looks I was giving it, I decided that after 30 mins I was out of here. Just 30 mins! I can do that! So I kept pedaling and pedaling and pedaling and pedaling and pedaling some more. I didn't do all the things Janet was instructing us to do though. Most of the time I was concentrating on willing my heart not to go on strike, my legs to not totally turn to mush and completely fall off and my breakfast to stay where I put it earlier this morning. Another look at the clock....28 mins gone. Yes! Only 2 more minutes and this now abbreviated cycle class will be over! Yes, 2 more minutes; I can do that! "You know the difference in Ordinary and Extra-Ordinary?" Huh? Where did that come from? Oh, it's that person up front who is encouraging us on. "Ordinary and Extra-Ordinary, do you know the difference?" Who gives a rip? I have only one more minute to go. "EXTRA! Extra is the difference. You people are not Ordinary; you are Extra-Ordinary to be here in my cycle class at 8:30 on a holiday morning. And you have that extra to push yourselves ....." Well, it was some drivel like that. I was still hung up on the fact that she had just called me Ordinary! Yes, I was about to walk out and she had to go say that garbage! Now if I walked out, I would be Ordinary! Damn! Just Damn! I am not ordinary by golly! So, I decided I could spend a few more minutes in this cycle class I am taking today.

40 minutes gone; ok 5 more and she'll start the cool down. I don't want to miss the cool down! 45 mins gone; surely she has to start the cool down now! I mean there's another class in here at 9:30 right? Apparently not! 50, 55 minutes gone and I am still pedaling because by this time I have an attitude. Stupid class! Stupid bike! Stupid me for being here but I'll be darned if I'm going to walk out and be Ordinary! Two people have left by this time and I saw my opening, but for some reason I stayed. Why? Janet? She can be very persuasive. But no, not Janet. It was me. I stayed because I am on a mission to get on a first name basis with this cardio thing. I want my heart to enjoy what I'm doing, regardless of what I'm doing. And I want to do it for a very long time. I'm not as young as I used to be but that's no excuse for letting myself go. It's even more reason to eat clean, exercise often and work on those things I know are a challenge for me. For those reasons, I TOOK A FREAKIN' CYCLE CLASS TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks Janet! :-)

Relive my first (really earned) Cheat Meal!

What does "really earned" mean? Really earned means I ate clean the entire week; not one morsel passed these lips that I was not supposed to be eating. For some reason, it was not that hard this week either. Not sure why that is but hey, I'm not going to spend brain power trying to analyze it. I'll just accept it and hope that whatever it was stays with me.

But back to my cheat meal - I've been wondering all week what I would eat. The only thing I've been wanting this week that I kept telling myself I could have on Saturday night is ice cream. Well, that can be part of my cheat meal but I'm entitled to way more than that! What sinful food have I been depriving myself of that I can pig out on Saturday night?

I'm very happy to say that not a lot of things came to mind which means that my normal diet has indeed become my "normal" diet. I'm not depriving myself of anything! Well, that's just great! I have a cheat meal coming and don't know what to eat! Jeez!

I did find out however that it's not really a particular food I crave, it's the convenience of certain foods that I struggle with. For example, Friday night at the end of the work week, I wanted to order chinese rather than cook. I don't particularly love Chinese but the only other "delivery" food is pizza and I just won't go there anymore. So the urge to order Chinese last night was pretty strong but I decided that Chinese was not worth losing that cheat meal, even though I had no idea what that would be. I did know that it would include ice cream though!

So I survived last night and then there was Saturday. I was alone which meant I didn't have to cook but I still had to eat! "No cook" food is not usually healthy or "clean" so I refused to go there this morning. I made it through breakfast and lunch eating clean so I was now down to figuring out what my cheat meal would be. I needed to figure this out so I could "plan" it with DBF, or we'd end up at the Mexican joint. No way was I going to blow my cheat meal at a mexican joint!

Where to go? What to eat? It needed to be good enough to sustain me for another week and to reward myself for my clean eating this week. What could it be? Really! I had this much trouble figuring it out! But then it came to me; Bar-B-Q Chicken Nacho's from Bugaboo Creek Restaurant. I conveniently found a $5 off coupon to convince DBF to go there and off we went. Before we ordered however, they placed bread on the table. Now I'm not normally a big bread eater but tonight was a different story. I enjoyed bread w/butter slathered all over it. It was some type of brown bread so it could have been whole wheat but I really didn't care for a change. I would have eaten it if it had been white with purple polk-a-dots. It was my cheat meal after all.

Then came the nacho's. There was a huge plate of them covered in Bar-B-Q chicken, sauce and cheese. There was a cup of salsa and a cup of sour cream. Salsa! I eat that all the time but sour cream? Now, that's something worthy enough to be part of a cheat meal! So was the second cup of sour cream I asked for. Mmm...Mmm Good!

I boxed the remainder up and brought it home but I will trash it tomorrow. Although I should have left it at the restaurant, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. But tomorrow is not my cheat meal. Tomorrow it's back to clean eating so in the trash it goes.

But wait! I know what you're thinking; "she's forgotten about the ice cream!" Oh no, that ice cream is calling my name right this very minute! So please excuse me while I go enjoy every bite!

very calmly discuss the STUPID PEOPLE!!!!!

He said, she said!
He did, she did!

Who gives a flying flip who did what or why, just get it done!

A famous quote concerning stupid people from Brainy Quote.com:

Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid. John Wayne

In my workplace, we have our share of stupid people. You know the ones; the ones who really stand out, the ones who give you the impression they know it all until they open their mouths and normally don't know when to shut it again. The ones who have all the ideas until it's time to get to work. (Wait, they may be kind of smart there!)

Then we also have the ones who are not really stupid, they just don't think. I'll call these people idiots because they really do have the smarts to know better, they just choose not to. Yes, these people are idiots.

Then there are the smart people who have temporary lapses of sanity and go over to the stupid side. These are the hardest to deal with because normally it is these smart people who help to manage all the stupid people and the idiots on a daily basis. When one of these people go over, it's major crisis time. The stupid vultures, I mean people, swarm all over the smart person like they are trying to suck the smart out of him. Even if the smart person realizes he's gone over to the stupid side, he's enjoying the sucking up so much that he can't seem to pull himself away. And by the way, I am not using "he" here as a generic term. Usually it is a "he" who goes over to the stupid side and falls for this lavish attention every time.

So what is a relatively normal person to do when this happens? Well, a good employee, manager or team leader will dig in and fight until she pulls that smart person back onto the other side and then give him a piece of her mind until he wakes up from his daze and understands he has indeed been wallowing on the stupid side of the office.

However, there are times when enough is enough. During those times, a good team leader will just let them have it, have their way I mean. Let them have their way with the idea, the task, the project, the office, the whole damn town really. Who cares? Just leave and let them have it.

But yes, I will care when I go back and have to help clean up the mess but for now, let them have fun. My enjoyment will come when the smart guy realizes he messed up and asks for help. Will I help him? Oh yes, because I am one of the smart ones. Will I do it for him? Hell no, because I am one of the smart ones. Will he learn from it? Hell no, because he is a man!

Oh wait! I must go now. I see an IM coming in from a certain smart/stupid/idiot coworker who has already realized the error of his ways. This is gonna be fun!

Prove I can do it myself!

In my past, I've been known to act on impulse. Well I don't have a reputation or anything like that. I just know myself that sometimes I do things on impulse rather than thinking them through. Usually this involves purchasing something. Most of the time, purchases made on impulse are not really needed and end up in Goodwill or given to a child or grandchild. IPods, Game Boys, Nintendo DS...these are just some of the items that come to mind that are currently being enjoyed by my grandchildren.

As I mentioned above, I've been working on this impulse thing. Now, when I see something I "think" I want, I wait 24 hours. If I still want it then, I may go buy it, or I will at least start researching it. I figure by the time I've researched to find the best model, price, etc., I'll either not want it anymore or I'll have found the best deal. After all that, if I still want it, I get it. That's one of the wonderful things about being 52 years old and 29 years into a career. I can afford what I want, when I want it; within reason anyway.

Anyway, I've been debating the purchase of a Satellite radio for many months now. I really wanted one and knew I would get one, but I will also be purchasing a new car before too much longer. A lot of the new cars have one installed so I didn't want to purchase one now and then not need it in the new car. And then there's the whole XM vs Sirius thing to consider! Which one? DBF's car came with Sirius so we already have an account with them, and I can add another radio for next to nothing. But our Surround Sound System in the house has an XM tuner so I could activate that one and then my car to that account. Decisions! Decisions!

What's my point you say? I'm getting there! Sirius in their very smart marketing minds, put their radios on sale for Father's Day. The very next day after I saw that ad, I purchased (on an impulse after researching it for six months or more) a Sirius radio for the car, but this one can also be used in the home! I bought it in time for my trip to S. Ga. on Fathers Day so I could listen to it on the way down. The one thing I forgot however, was that it needed to be installed!

I didn't have time to get it installed before I left on Father's Day so I quickly read the "Getting Started" booklet and temporarily installed the radio and all associated antenna's in the truck I was driving to S. Ga. Wires were covering the dash, running from the back window to the front dash, from the power outlet to the dash, everywhere! That was fine on a temporary basis but I couldn't install it that way in my Mustang, the car I drive everyday.

I thought about going back to Best Buy to have it installed but then I thought, why? You can do this! So I did! I installed the antenna on the trunk lid and ran (and hid) the wires all the way to the front. I installed the FM Antenna and hid those wires! I did it all and it looks like my son did it for me. And best of all, it works!

You've got to love the power of a woman!