This is a public service message. What you are about to read are the ramblings of one person; a person who has obviously been enjoying a pity party and is now working her way out of it. What you read here may not necessarily make sense to anyone other than the writer, and therefore should not be used against her in any way, including but not limited to a court of law. The following are her words, such as they are…with only the names changed to protect the innocent.
This morning I decided, enough is enough! It hit me yesterday actually, that I've been wallowing in my own self-made pity party for the past few days. I'm not sure when it started or what even caused it to start, but I've had enough of it. Well I really do know when it started; Thursday afternoon, and I know why (I think); this was not supposed to be my free weekend at home. This was supposed to be my weekend to kill myself walking 60 miles. But I had to pull out of the Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk due to a sprained ankle. However, when I had to pull out of the walk, I continued to raise money for the cause, thus I still felt like part of the team. Then Thursday afternoon, I get an email sent to my company's walking team about picking up our shirts. I replied back and mentioned that I would miss walking with them this weekend but would stop by next week to pick up my shirt. Their reply back to me stated they could only give shirts to the walkers. Bam, slap, kick, you're outta here! I know it's only a stupid shirt and I know the reason for doing this is to end Breast Cancer forever, and I told myself "whatever; screw 'em!" But obviously my subconscious mind did not listen of any of that. So I've spent the last two days sulking and just staying to myself.
But like I said earlier, enough is enough. The stupid shirts were ugly anyway; they are a pukey pink color and I have plenty of other shirts like the green one I just got at the KP 5K. I spent all day Friday doing nothing (well paying bills) and yesterday doing nothing (well paying two more bills that came in the mail) until our expected company finally arrived. After that I did a little but since our company was pretty self sufficient, I didn't have to do much. But having them here was a good excuse to blow off cycle class, and exercising, walking the neighborhood with my neighbor and really any kind of communication with the real world. In other words, it was a good excuse to withdraw from the world, all over a stupid shirt. Let me say here that it's not really the shirt but more what the shirt represented. I was a part of a team. I worked hard to raise funds to meet my goal yes, but every $ raised also helped the team to reach their goal. What that email told me was that I was no longer part of the team. Not even a "Thanks for all your hard work, and by the way, thanks for helping us meet our team goal, but see ya!" It was just "see ya!"
Well, no more wallowing! Today is the first day of the week, and day 15 for me on the South Beach Diet. I lost 2.4 lbs during the first two weeks which I was kind of bummed about until my very smart trainer set me straight on a few things. Like the fact that 2.4 lbs is a lot for someone who only has 10 lbs to lose. That's 24% of my goal! Not too shabby for two weeks worth of work. And I also lost over an inch off my waist in those two weeks. That's something to celebrate, not hide! So I did celebrate, last night, with a very healthy chocolate cake I made with whole wheat flour, splenda and nf milk. And did I mention that last week I was out of town at a business conference where they served all kinds of sinful stuff to eat? A place where sometimes I had to get inventive to even have something to eat? Like, eating the turkey slices off a sandwich and having the lettuce and tomato as my veggies. Like turning down dessert and having a cup of decaf coffee instead. It was hard but by golly I did it, and I am proud of myself!
So today I'm back to making goals and exercising. I have my week planned out which consist of three cardio exercises and three weight training exercises. I will eat clean, and in accordance with Phase 2 of the South Beach Diet. I can do this and I will! I will be at my goal weight by December 31 which means I must be good through the holidays. It will be hard but I will do it. And if there are bumps along the way, I will handle them and I'll do my best to not repeat the pity party. But if I do indulge in another one, I'll figure it out and move on. That's what's so good about all this. Life isn't perfect. Sometimes it's roses and sometimes its thorns. You just have to carefully pick through the thorns until you find the rose again!
Here's to everyone finding their roses quickly, with minimal damage while picking through the thorns.
