…Admit it, “No cheat meal for you!”

I baked a cake Tuesday night. It was chocolate with chocolate icing. It also had cream cheese icing on the decorations. I’m sure it tasted very good but I didn’t eat any of it. It just didn’t interest me. No, I’m not strange, weird or even stupid. I’m just not that into cakes.

We ate out for dinner tonight. Of course we went to our favorite Mexican restaurant. They serve warm tortilla chips there, and margaritas! I was tempted but I had neither. I didn’t have a problem resisting the margarita but the chips were calling my name. However I was strong and nary a chip passed these lips.

When I baked a cake on Tuesday night, I also put together a small one for my DBF here at home. He doesn’t need it and he knows that. But he was feeling a little left out since I never bake anymore and here I was baking a cake for work. So, he had his own little chocolate cake with cream cheese icing decorated in an abstract kind of way with the remaining leftover chocolate icing.

Last night, I didn’t even notice it. Tonight, I ate it. Not only did I eat that cake, I ate caramel ice cream along with it. Not only did I eat that ice cream, I ate the caramel sauce I poured all over it. Yes, it was good but why oh why did I do that? I have no reason whatsoever for my lapse in clean eating sanity. I just did.

So it is with heavy heart (and a much heavier rear end since that’s where every ounce of that ice cream went) that I acknowledge the fact I have no cheat meal coming this Saturday. I am not happy about this but it is what it is. I did it and I will pay the penance.

I also want to note that since I have broken the clean eating rules for this week, that does not give me carte blanch to eat with abandon the rest of the week. No way. Clean eating must prevail the rest of the week and on into next week. I have to prevail over the temptations of the sinful calorie laden food less the scale will prevail over me. It’s already messing with my head this week but it is only a number. I know that and I will treat it as such.

So onward and downward. No more cake, no more ice cream and no cheat meal on Saturday. It is what it is.

...Discuss Determination and Inspiration

I took a fitness assessment today. Its part of a multi-company fitness and health challenge that runs from August to November of this year. The fitness assessment didn’t turn out exactly like I thought it would. Whatever!

I’m a team captain for a Heart Association Heart Walk Team. My company is one of the Corporate Sponsors and there are lots of teams participating. This is a fund raiser for the American Heart Association. There are lots of people in my department so I thought I’d have people waiting in line to join our team. So far, I have 3, with the promise of a couple more. Whatever!

I’m walking in the Breast Cancer Three Day Walk in October and trying to raise $2100 in the process. That’s a tall order but I’m determined to make it. I’m trying to get others to join me in that walk but so far no takers. Whatever!

Whatever, whatever, whatever! Just what is that all about? Am I frustrated? It’s easy to get frustrated when things don’t go exactly as you’d like them to. That normally turns into excuses to NOT do what you know you need to do. That normally gets you a sedentary lifestyle and a seat on the couch. That normally gets you a trip to the doctor and lots of prescriptions to treat unhealthy conditions like high cholesterol. But wait! I’ve been there, done that, and I will not be going back! So no, I am not frustrated.

I am determined! I am determined to change the things I don’t like about that fitness assessment. I am determined to walk every step in that Heart Walk and every mile of the 60 miles in the Breast Cancer walk. I will increase my cardio exercise to improve my cardiovascular health. They tell me that will knock 5 years off my age. My trainer is working cardio into our weekly workout session now in addition to free weights so believe me, I won’t forget about it. When I’m working out and normally whining a little about whatever it is I’m doing, I always remind myself that I am determined to improve my health and my body overall. I’m there doing those squats or lunges because I choose to be, not because anyone is making me. I choose to be there, and I will continue to choose to be there, because I am determined.

I am also inspired by other people and their determination. That’s one reason I’m walking in the Breast Cancer 3-Day walk this year. I’ve heard that it is so emotional and uplifting…I can’t wait to experience that. My trainer inspires me as do my group of Weight Watcher friends. And hopefully I can inspire others at the same time. I know I inspire (or nag) some of my coworkers to eat a healthier diet and to get in consistent exercise. And I’ve recently been told that my blog here has helped to inspire others. That’s cool! I’ll keep posting about my experiences to inspire myself for sure, but inspiring others at the same time, well that’s a double reward.

Now, let me go crank up that treadmill….

Discuss Ordinary vs Extra-Ordinary!

I took a cycle class today. Big deal, right? Yes, this is a big deal. You see, cardio and I are not exactly on a first name basis, and the names I do use for cardio, well I can't use them here. Regardless, I took a cycle class today.

So why was I in this hour of punishment? Janet. She taught the class and she's also my Personal Trainer. She can be very persuasive. I told her on Monday as we were working out that I had the day off on July 4. I had no plans other than sleeping late, watching movies, maybe a few errands but nothing big. It is a holiday after all! "Well you can come to my cycle class that morning then!" She has that look - the look that says "you know you should do this and you have no excuse really" so....I took a cycle class today.

I showed up on time, early actually. I was psyching myself up for this. "I can do this! How hard can it be? It won't kill me. It's only an hour!" Everyone there seemed so happy to be there, and they had all been there before. That was encouraging, so I hung around until 8:30 to take a cycle class today.

Janet comes bouncing in all full of energy and jumps on that bike. Warm up time she says. Warm up! That's an easy part; I can do that! So I start pedaling. "Turn up the resistance" she says. Huh? I thought this was warm up! "Turn it up some more!" What the...? I dutifully follow along until I am definitely warmed up and wondering what I have gotten myself into. I look at the clock and its 8:38 or something close to that. It's going to be a long hour in this cycle class I'm taking today.

After 35 looks at the clock and another 5 minutes, my heart rate monitor is screaming at me telling me I am doing cardio. No duh! After 55 more looks at the clock and another 5 mins, my legs are saying "WTF are you doing?" Janet is still up there encouraging everyone on and talking about how much fun this is. It's a good thing she wasn't looking directly at me when she made that statement! The look I was giving her....but it wasn't a long look because my eyes kept going back to that broken clock. It had to be broken because I’d already spent two hours in this cycle class I was taking today.

After the numbers started fading out on the clock from all the looks I was giving it, I decided that after 30 mins I was out of here. Just 30 mins! I can do that! So I kept pedaling and pedaling and pedaling and pedaling and pedaling some more. I didn't do all the things Janet was instructing us to do though. Most of the time I was concentrating on willing my heart not to go on strike, my legs to not totally turn to mush and completely fall off and my breakfast to stay where I put it earlier this morning. Another look at the clock....28 mins gone. Yes! Only 2 more minutes and this now abbreviated cycle class will be over! Yes, 2 more minutes; I can do that! "You know the difference in Ordinary and Extra-Ordinary?" Huh? Where did that come from? Oh, it's that person up front who is encouraging us on. "Ordinary and Extra-Ordinary, do you know the difference?" Who gives a rip? I have only one more minute to go. "EXTRA! Extra is the difference. You people are not Ordinary; you are Extra-Ordinary to be here in my cycle class at 8:30 on a holiday morning. And you have that extra to push yourselves ....." Well, it was some drivel like that. I was still hung up on the fact that she had just called me Ordinary! Yes, I was about to walk out and she had to go say that garbage! Now if I walked out, I would be Ordinary! Damn! Just Damn! I am not ordinary by golly! So, I decided I could spend a few more minutes in this cycle class I am taking today.

40 minutes gone; ok 5 more and she'll start the cool down. I don't want to miss the cool down! 45 mins gone; surely she has to start the cool down now! I mean there's another class in here at 9:30 right? Apparently not! 50, 55 minutes gone and I am still pedaling because by this time I have an attitude. Stupid class! Stupid bike! Stupid me for being here but I'll be darned if I'm going to walk out and be Ordinary! Two people have left by this time and I saw my opening, but for some reason I stayed. Why? Janet? She can be very persuasive. But no, not Janet. It was me. I stayed because I am on a mission to get on a first name basis with this cardio thing. I want my heart to enjoy what I'm doing, regardless of what I'm doing. And I want to do it for a very long time. I'm not as young as I used to be but that's no excuse for letting myself go. It's even more reason to eat clean, exercise often and work on those things I know are a challenge for me. For those reasons, I TOOK A FREAKIN' CYCLE CLASS TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks Janet! :-)