My Inspiration!

I just realized I never posted about what inspired me last week! I promise, it was not because of a lack of inspiration but more a lack of time, which is something I have been blogging about these past few days. Not just the lack of time, but how we as women put others first thus resulting in a lack of time for us to do what we want and/or need to do.

But I digress...last week as I was sitting here doing whatever I was doing, I decided I wanted some noise. I rarely turn the TV on during the day and sometimes play the radio but I wanted to watch last week's two American Idol episodes that I had TiVo'd. Unfortunately when I tried to play them I realized my TiVo is acting up and didn't change to the right channel. The only thing there to watch was last week's episode of Biggest Loser.

Now I don't normally watch Biggest Loser but I am interested in it enough to have it on my Season Pass list evidently. The biggest reason I don't really like it is because the workouts and the weight losses they show are very unrealistic. Sure, it makes for good TV but it's not something we in the real 9-5 world can do, nor should we do. I mean working out that many hours each day and losing that many pounds each week is not something anyone can really maintain. And I'm afraid it gives people in the real world a false set of expectaions in which they feel like they failed if they don't have the same level of results of these show people. But I watched it anyway mainly because I wanted the noise. I know that sounds crazy but when you work from home, alone all day, it does get too quiet at times.

But I digress again...As I was watching the show I found myself getting very emotional in response to the emotions of the people on the show. Yes, the routines and weight loss results may be for TV, but the emotions of the contestants seem to be for real. And since they started out competing as couples, there is husband / wife, father / daughter, mother / son, etc. It was amazing to see the support and raw emotion there for each other and for themselves as they experienced a victory in their weight loss journey, regardless of the size of the victory. I simply cried when one lady realized she was now in a different "hundred" in her weight number. And for the father with the bad knees to finally do a squat, that one had me pulling out the Kleenex's.

But what I really realized is that my little weight loss story is nothing compared to these people and the challenges they are meeting head on. Sure they are on TV and they have trainers and people preparing their meals and they have these great incentives to do well on this show, but their weight challenges are real, and the emotions of meeting those challenges are real as well. And when I see what they are doing as individuals and as teams to better themselves physically and medically by losing weight, I realize I need to sit down and shut up and start doing squats and lunges and eating cleaner and so forth.

Because if that father with his arthritic knees can do a squat and the entire room of contestants is in tears of joy for him, I can do a squat in his honor as well. And in doing so, I'm helping my younger but still arthritic knees to hopefully be in better shape when I get to his age, if I'm not there already! :-)

The journey doesn't end, you just keep doing it...

Those are not my words - they were spoken by a wonderful friend of mine but I sure agree with them. This weight loss, healthier me, life-style change, whatever you want to call it journey does not ever end...you just keep doing it.

And that is one of the things I still struggle with. You see, I have this thing about being a sheep. If everyone is making a right turn, I want to make a left turn simply because I like to be independent, do things my way, be different from others, ok I'll say it...I like to be a radical. No, not the "in your face" type of radical; just the "I can think for myself" type of radical.

So, when I get fed up with counting points or maintaining my exercise routine, I say "I don't need this," or "I can do this my way" or simply "screw it" and go off on my own. Those are the times when I start slacking and depending on how long it takes to get through my thick head that I'm slacking...I lose my progress and momentum. Then when I realize I do need to count points and exercise regularly, I'm redoing what I lost and might even make a little more forward progress before I rebel again. Sad to say but this happens way too often.

Why oh why are we our own worst enemies? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do I do this to myself? That is the answer I am still seeking. If anyone has it figured out, please share with me. I know part of it is because we as women, are made to put others first. Not made as in forced, but made as in its part of our DNA. It's who we are and what we do. When we put others first, they get what they need but we don't get what we need simply because by the time we've finished doing whatever someone else needed, there is another someone else who needs something, and on and on it goes.

But I have a plan I put together yesterday and I will not deter from that plan. I will put myself first today before I start the laundry and before I continue work on the latest web site I am building. I will do this by doing my strength training and go buy healthy foods at the grocery store first. After I do those two things (with a shower in between so I won't kill the other people in the grocery store) I will start the laundry and begin work on the website.

Yes, yes I will. Later folks...Some weights are calling my name...

I weighed my clothes today...

and anyone who has ever been a Weight Watcher member will understand what that means. Although I am now a Weight Watcher staff person, we still have to weigh in once each month and fax that weight slip in to our Territory Manager. We must be within 2 pounds of our goal or things start to happen. We are all Weight Watcher Lifetime Members so the same rules still apply except if we go over that 2 pounds, it can affect our paychecks.

But that's not what had me weighing my clothes today. After all I didn't lose the weight in the first place so I could work for Weight Watchers. I lost the weight because I want to be healthy and to live a long, active life playing with my grandchildren and future great-grandchildren. I still weigh in here at home every weekend just to keep track and this morning I saw a number on the scale I haven't seen in a long time.

Why did I see that number? For those of you who know me, you know that I am pretty strict with my diet, eating clean but not perfect although I do eat healthy all the time. I am also an exercise proponent, obtaining my Personal Trainer Certification last year and put into practice what I preach. I exercise regularly, both strength training and cardio. My cardio of choice is running and although I don't love it, I don't hate it either. You can read a previous blog about my love for cardio and you'll understand that statement a little better. :-)

So again, why did I see that number? Because I have been slipping. And I have been slipping for quite a while now. Yes, I still eat healthy but I have indulged in a piece of chocolate here, and a piece of bread there, and on and on. One little piece of chocolate does not do a lot of damage but when you repeat that "one" several times over the course of a few weeks, it adds up or catches up I should say. I've also been slipping with my exercise. Yes, I exercise faithfully every week. I work out with weights at least two times each week and I run.... Well, to be honest I haven't been running much and the intensity of my strength training has not been to the level it should be.

Going through the motions? Faking it 'til I make it? Whatever you want to call it, that is why I saw the number I saw on the scale this morning and that is why I was weighing my clothes to find something lightweight to wear for my monthly weigh in.

So what am I going to do about it? This morning I was promising God all types of things when I stopped and asked myself why I was promising God when I was the one who ate the chocolate and I was the one slacking off on my exercise. Plus I will be traveling this week which adds more challenge to getting back on track.

However I need to be the one to fix this and I will! This is my plan:

(1) Put the chocolate in the garbage disposal (DONE)
(2) Buy healthy, convenient snacks (tomorrow)
(3) Cook meals rather than getting take out because regardless of how "healthy" your take-out is, if you didn't cook it you can't be sure how healthy it is.
(4) Aggressive strength training on Monday and Wednesday of this week.
(5) Cardio (run) on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of this week.

My flight is on Thursday and although I will be working out while gone, whatever exercise I get between Thursday and Sunday will be icing on the cake over what I've already done.

That's my plan. I'll report my progress here this week and hopefully post an improvement in that scale number this week or next. Regardless of the scale number though, I know that planning is key for me...planning and accountability. The plan I have; the accountability I will have to find within myself because I am the only one who can make this happen. No one else can make it happen; they can encourage me, push me, threaten me, whatever, but none of this will work if I myself do not hold myself accountable for my actions.

Here I go! Off to work my plan!

Catching up with.........Me!

A few days ago I said I was going to start posting to this blog again. It's been a few days and I haven't forgotten what I said; I just didn't have it all formed in my head yet. Plus, I wanted to have something to say, not just ramble on like I tend to do at times. So this morning I was inspired...but before I post that blog, let me catch up with me.

I retired from my previous life last March. Yep, after an almost 30 year career with one company, I decided to throw in the towel and see what else I wanted to be when I grew up. I'm still not sure what that is but I have several things going to help me find out. I'll list them here, not in any particular order...

1) Consultant - I'm still doing some work as an Independent Consultant, simply because it keeps me in the business and while I'm doing it, I love it! When I'm not doing it, I remember that it feels a lot like work. However, the $$ isn't bad so at times, I'll keep doing it.

2) Web Design - I started a web design business and I'm truly loving it, except when I get stuck on something which totally frustrates me. I hate to say it but that happens pretty often but not as often as when I first started. I've got two sites under construction now and several more waiting on proposals. Looks like I'm in it for keeps. :-)

3) Weight Watchers - I'm working part-time for Weight Watchers as a receptionist. I really love doing this for several reasons. One, I am a life-time Weight Watchers member and I totally believe in the program. Two, you can't help but get inspired by meeting the members and sharing their weight loss journey with them. If I ever get the urge to stray off my healthy eating path, I think of all these people who are staying on the straight and narrow to ensure their weight loss journey is a success. There are some dedicated people out there and I give a big high-five to each and every one of them!

4) Certified Personal Trainer - Yes, you read that right. I always get a second glance when I tell people I am a personal trainer. You see, I'm not 25 and I don't have an Olympian body. I look like what I am; a 54 YO grandmother. However there are varying types of 54 YO grandmothers and I like to think I am one of the "fitter" ones. I do work out regularly and I have become a runner. I've run in several 5K races and have another one scheduled for the end of February.

With all the above going on, I don't have a lot of time to be retired, however all the things above are things I WANT to be doing, not anything I HAVE to be doing. For that reason and many others, I am totally enjoying my retirement lifestyle.

Later in years, we'll travel more although we take at least one very long vacation every year now. You'll read more about this year's trip in a future blog I'm sure. For now, I'll keep on doing what I'm doing and as long as I can pay the bills, the 9-5 job is out for me.

Now, let me post this (it's been sitting her all day as it is!) and get the thoughts out of my head that inspired me this morning!

Wow! It's been a while..!

This blog has been on my mind lately but obviously not enough to post on it. When I finally loaded up my blog yesterday and looked at my last posting, I was amazed at how long it's been!

Now why is that? What has been so important that I couldn't post a few thoughts here? Well, I said in the beginning that I would post here when I was motivated. That's really sad then. I guess I haven't been motivated even once in the past what, 6 or 7 months? I sure hope that is not the case.

I think it was more due to lack of inspiration. You see, I just don't unload what's going through my mind like some bloggers do, to me it has to have a purpose. It has to have a message that means something to me, and hopefully will mean something to someone else.

So why am I rambling on today? I'm not really sure actually but I thought I'd wait and see what comes out of the end of my fingers and then after reading it through several times, I'll either hit the publish button or delete it.

And along those lines, I think I'll publish this and then update everyone on what's going on with me...the good, the not so good and the ugly. Hmm...that's the same name of a technical presentation I did once at a business conference. :-) That was a doozy for sure!

So stay tuned folks. I plan to use this blog to work through some stuff in my head that's having an impact on my life. In it, I hope you will see some comparisons to things that are happening in your lives as well. And maybe together, we can work through them and come out better on the other end.

I'd love to hear your feedback and comments about my ramblings too, just so I don't feel like I'm typing to a great black hole.

Thanks for that!

It's all about the Customer Service people!

Jeez! This world is sorely lacking for Customer Service skills! Everywhere I turn, I get very frustrated over this. Maybe my new retirement "life's work" should be in teaching others what customer service means. I mean, jeez!

What has got me all in a bother this time? My doctor's office! Am I a captive audience? Can I go to another doctor and tell this one to take a flying leap? Yes. Will I? Probably not. I mean, it took a while to find one who could actually figure out what my problem was and now that it's gone, do I really want to find a new doctor? And it's not the doctor I'm frustrated with; it's his staff! Technically I can still blame him though since he's the "boss" and also he's the one who told me to call the staff! Although it was many months ago when he said that.

This saga is all over a couple of prescriptions. My previous doctor had prescribed them so the new doc said to give him a call when I needed to refill them. Sounds simple huh? That's what I thought too.

Well, I called last week, or was it the week before? You lose track of time when you are looking through a haze of frustration. Anyway, I called them and asked the staff (nurse) to check with him about refilling the prescriptions. I gave her the name of the medications and the name and phone # of my drug store. Sounds easy right? And did I mention that I was using a new pharmacy for these two prescriptions? That will be a key factor in this saga.

A couple days later I get a call from said nurse asking for the strengths of the prescriptions. Huh? You haven't called them in yet? And doesn't the dr know what strengths I should be on? Apparently not and since I was using a new pharmacy, they didn't have any record of them. (the before mentioned factor) At the time of this call, I was in the check out line of the grocery store and of course did not have said prescriptions with me, which meant I'd have to call them back! When do you close? 5 PM. It's 5:00 now, on the Thursday before July 4th! Are you open tomorrow? No, we're not. SO, I'll have to call you back on Monday then! Thanks anyway!

So said Monday rolls around and I have lots to do. While on my way to my first appointed place, I remember I needed to call the Dr office. Of course I don't have said prescriptions with me, so I decide to use the old pharmacy which has all the pertinent information. Problem solved. Right? Wrong!

I call the nurse and tell her my plan. Phone number? Huh? Phone number of the old pharmacy. I'm sorry but I am driving and did not think to look up the phone number but it's the Kroger grocery store, the largest one in town, the one where most people get prescriptions filled. Surely you have that number taped to the wall by your phone? Nope, we have to have a number to call the prescription in so why don't you give us a call back when you have the number? Mam, I'm sorry but I am driving and won't be able to look this number up for some time. And I really need these prescriptions before I go out of town this week. I also realize that you'll be going above and beyond for a customer if you look up this number but would you please do this for me, just this once? No.

No? No? Not I'm sorry but I really can't do that; just NO!!!

Ok, I won't say that I threw the phone across the car and I won't say that I said a few words my Mama would have disapproved of, and I won't say anything about the status of said Nurse's soul when she passes on to the great beyond.

I will say that 24 hours later, I called back to give said Nurse the necessary info but she was late for work this morning and I'll have to call back when she gets in! (Sigh) When will that be? We're not sure. So how do I know when to call back? Just keep trying. (Sigh)

Yes, I am going to start marketing myself as a Customer Service professional, give motivational speeches and teach Customer Service concepts to John Q public and their staff! But I guess they have to give a damn before they'd hire anyone to teach them that giving a damn can make or break their business.

Am I the only one who cares? Maybe I'm the only one who gives a damn. Hmm...think I'll explore this further.

Stay tuned...

PS. I did get the said nurse on the phone this morning, 2 hrs after they opened and 2 days before I fly out of town. Let's hope she is faster with calling the prescriptions in and the pharmacy fills them pronto. But they would have to give a damn to do that wouldn't they? (Sigh)

The Pity Party

This is a public service message. What you are about to read are the ramblings of one person; a person who has obviously been enjoying a pity party and is now working her way out of it. What you read here may not necessarily make sense to anyone other than the writer, and therefore should not be used against her in any way, including but not limited to a court of law. The following are her words, such as they are…with only the names changed to protect the innocent.

This morning I decided, enough is enough! It hit me yesterday actually, that I've been wallowing in my own self-made pity party for the past few days. I'm not sure when it started or what even caused it to start, but I've had enough of it. Well I really do know when it started; Thursday afternoon, and I know why (I think); this was not supposed to be my free weekend at home. This was supposed to be my weekend to kill myself walking 60 miles. But I had to pull out of the Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk due to a sprained ankle. However, when I had to pull out of the walk, I continued to raise money for the cause, thus I still felt like part of the team. Then Thursday afternoon, I get an email sent to my company's walking team about picking up our shirts. I replied back and mentioned that I would miss walking with them this weekend but would stop by next week to pick up my shirt. Their reply back to me stated they could only give shirts to the walkers. Bam, slap, kick, you're outta here! I know it's only a stupid shirt and I know the reason for doing this is to end Breast Cancer forever, and I told myself "whatever; screw 'em!" But obviously my subconscious mind did not listen of any of that. So I've spent the last two days sulking and just staying to myself.

But like I said earlier, enough is enough. The stupid shirts were ugly anyway; they are a pukey pink color and I have plenty of other shirts like the green one I just got at the KP 5K. I spent all day Friday doing nothing (well paying bills) and yesterday doing nothing (well paying two more bills that came in the mail) until our expected company finally arrived. After that I did a little but since our company was pretty self sufficient, I didn't have to do much. But having them here was a good excuse to blow off cycle class, and exercising, walking the neighborhood with my neighbor and really any kind of communication with the real world. In other words, it was a good excuse to withdraw from the world, all over a stupid shirt. Let me say here that it's not really the shirt but more what the shirt represented. I was a part of a team. I worked hard to raise funds to meet my goal yes, but every $ raised also helped the team to reach their goal. What that email told me was that I was no longer part of the team. Not even a "Thanks for all your hard work, and by the way, thanks for helping us meet our team goal, but see ya!" It was just "see ya!"

Well, no more wallowing! Today is the first day of the week, and day 15 for me on the South Beach Diet. I lost 2.4 lbs during the first two weeks which I was kind of bummed about until my very smart trainer set me straight on a few things. Like the fact that 2.4 lbs is a lot for someone who only has 10 lbs to lose. That's 24% of my goal! Not too shabby for two weeks worth of work. And I also lost over an inch off my waist in those two weeks. That's something to celebrate, not hide! So I did celebrate, last night, with a very healthy chocolate cake I made with whole wheat flour, splenda and nf milk. And did I mention that last week I was out of town at a business conference where they served all kinds of sinful stuff to eat? A place where sometimes I had to get inventive to even have something to eat? Like, eating the turkey slices off a sandwich and having the lettuce and tomato as my veggies. Like turning down dessert and having a cup of decaf coffee instead. It was hard but by golly I did it, and I am proud of myself!

So today I'm back to making goals and exercising. I have my week planned out which consist of three cardio exercises and three weight training exercises. I will eat clean, and in accordance with Phase 2 of the South Beach Diet. I can do this and I will! I will be at my goal weight by December 31 which means I must be good through the holidays. It will be hard but I will do it. And if there are bumps along the way, I will handle them and I'll do my best to not repeat the pity party. But if I do indulge in another one, I'll figure it out and move on. That's what's so good about all this. Life isn't perfect. Sometimes it's roses and sometimes its thorns. You just have to carefully pick through the thorns until you find the rose again!

Here's to everyone finding their roses quickly, with minimal damage while picking through the thorns.